Find a card
Pick by occasion, tone or who it's for, or search every word on every card.
Heat 3: absurd, blunt and dark-funny. Never explicit.
The cards
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Another lap
Congratulations on completing another lap around the sun.
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Best thing on my calendar
Another year of knowing you.
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Glad you were born
Of everyone who was ever born, you're one of my favorites.
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The group chat
The group chat agreed you deserve a great birthday.
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Just a number
They say age is just a number.
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Terms and conditions
Happy birthday to someone who has never once read the terms and conditions.
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The gift of silence
For your birthday, I'm giving you the gift of not bringing it up.
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Too many candles
We tried to fit all your candles on one cake.
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A warm house
Wishing you a warm house, a full table and a quiet morning after.
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Going as myself
Happy Halloween from someone who refuses to wear a costume.
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Plans we'll cancel
Here's to a new year of plans we'll definitely cancel.
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Thankful
This year I'm thankful for you.
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Small talk season
It's the season of answering the same three questions at every party.
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The candy rule
Halloween rule: one for the bowl, one for me.
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Again
If I had to choose all over again,
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Blanket thief
I love you even though you steal the blanket.
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Home
You're my favorite place to be.
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Still you
Out of everyone, I'd still pick you.
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A few fries
Happy anniversary to the only person I'd share my fries with.
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More than being right
I love you more than I love being right.
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Moving up
Congratulations on the promotion!
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New job
Congratulations on the new job.
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Reply all
Thank you for never hitting reply all.
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About that meeting
Sorry about the meeting.
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Another year here
Happy work anniversary.
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The great escape
Congratulations on escaping.
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Graduate
You graduated!
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You did it
You did it.
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Show-off
Congratulations on being successful and making the rest of us look bad.
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You showed up
You showed up when it mattered.
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Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot.
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I'm sorry
I'm sorry.
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Screenshot this
I'm sorry. I was wrong.
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You were right
I'm sorry I was right.
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No reason
No reason. No occasion.
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Missing you, apparently
I miss you.
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